I'm sitting here in my Airbnb contemplating on what my goals were for 2018, including writing in this blog, that didn't happen. Where was the breakdown? Did I forget why I started this blog in the first place? Why did I not continue to write?

The answer is:  I honestly can't remember what was going through my mind in January 2018.

Life can take a person down many paths, some decisions are good, some bad, some leave a person feeling stagnate without seeing the side streets. 

2018 was heartening and disheartening.  I finally made a change in my life, I quit a job that made me feel like my soul was being wrenched from my body.  I moved to a new state to start over and couldn't find work.  I was jobless for half the year, ready to give up and move back to my home state when I got a call from a friend that said her company was hiring and moved to her state.  I got the job, I'm earning a paycheck, I'm happy. 

My life has been one of helping and supporting others, and that is the type of job I now currently have.  It has opened my 'eyes' on problems that I had as a child that I still suffer with.  I'm now helping children with things that I had to go through so that they don't have the same questions that I had as a child.  What's wrong with me? Why don't I understand?  Why can't I just get it?  I'm not stupid, I'm not lazy, I'm doing the homework. Why aren't the teachers understanding.  Why does my eye twitch when I'm reading? Why am I not understanding what the teacher is asking when I read the same paragraph as the other students?  Why didn't I get the same answer as the other students?  How did I miss that?  Why was reading all of those chapters in college my nightmare?

Now that I have this new job, the answer is quite simple.  I had an eye coordination issue.  I missed a lot of what I read due to my eyes not working together.  It's quite hard to understand what you are reading when the mechanics of reading, your eyes working together, don't do that.   Now that I understand the issue I'm taking charge of my life back.  I'm not going to stop doing things that I love because I "don't understand".  I'm working through those issues, I am getting the help that I need, so that I can stop having those questions that I had as a child that occasionally will sneak into my mind as an adult.  I'm no longer hiding from those questions.

Well you may ask,  why is she telling us this? The answer is quite simple...  to help.  Other people may be going through the same thing that I was.  Due to where I work, I know for a fact others ARE going through what I was and there are adults today that don't realize that there was a reason for those questions as a child. 

This blog has a new lease on life.  Life is a journey filled with heartache, heartbreak, rejuvenation, hope, despair,  love, and loss.  I'm going to take you on my journey, introduce you to some extraordinary people, and show you some amazing places.  Stay tuned for more!

---- Freida