Work & Life: Separating The Two

I was asked this week, "How do you separate your job from your personal life?"  I had to think really hard about the answer because I never think about it anymore.  Separating the job from what I consider my personal self had been a part of me for so long, I even forgot how to talk about it.

A little background may be needed.  Things occurred on their job that affected the person so personally that they didn't know how to cope.  I asked the person, "Why are you taking their decision personally?"  They stated, "It feels like I'm being attacked for decisions that I had made."  We proceeded to discuss why the company was making those changes. They finally understood that the changes were for the betterment of the company.  That is wasn't an attack, but a different way of doing things due to the fact that the current model was not working.  I asked them, "do you keep your personal separate from the job?"  The person did know what I was speaking about.  Then they asked the "how" question.

Separating myself from the job, came from years of experience working in the corporate world.  Castigating myself when I felt that the work I was doing was coming under fire.  It took a very nice supervisor that I had when I was younger to let me know that it wasn't about my work at all.  That I had worked well with the tools that I had on hand and that there was a need for change.  As I continued my work in the corporate world, I saw this happen time and time again, so I began separating myself from what was going on.  Keeping in mind the big picture of the company, what those goals were.  I also looked at what my goals were, what I wanted to gain from my employment.

Back to present day.....

At the time of the question I didn't have that thought.  I drew a complete blank.  How was I to help this person who was taking the weight on their shoulders of something that they had no control over? I began with a simple process of breaking down that weight, chipping away at it, one piece at a time.  We spoke about the company: what had happened to make them feel a certain way? what the company goals were for the future? 

Then I asked them: What their goals were for the future?  Did they see a future with this company?  Do they see this as a stepping stone before moving on?  I also reminded the person when they would say something that wasn't in their control.  By the end of the conversation, they began to see that the weight they were taking home every night wasn't theirs, but someone else's, the company's.  They had felt that everything that had gone wrong was their fault.  They were taking the blame solely upon themselves, and taking it home with them.  A vicious cycle that was repeated daily.  It began to affect other aspects of their life and decisions that they were making in their personal life.  They were beginning to be afraid of make decisions because they felt that the weren't good at making them.

When I decided to write this post I did a little research.  For those that are having problems separating yourself from your job, or having problems balancing work life, here are a couple of  articles that discuss this very topic.

                   Corkindale, Gill.  Detach Yourself From Your Work

                   Koretz, Janna.  What Happens When Your Career Becomes Your Whole Identity

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, if you need help please get the help you need.  Take care of both your mental and physical health and they will take care of you!